#563 ONE Month Later

 One Month Later

Source: BlogChatter

It’s Spring here, but, today, the sky looks dull and grey. No trace of sunlight can be found anywhere. Since the end of March, it has been sunny for most of the days of the week, but today it seemed a bit gloomy. Everything seems so quiet, even during the working hours of the day and I can hear the sound of ticking off the clock. Was it reflecting the state of my mind?

One month has passed after that tragic event and I feel that a part of my life has gone still forever. Just like the weather, there’s an inexplicable heaviness in my heart and I’m starting my day with such a gloomy feeling. I’ve never felt so sad before and I am just experiencing this abyss as it is, without putting much effort to ward it off. Now, I don’t feel emotions as intensely as I used to when the sadness dominates over the other, or perhaps it will take a while to be back to absolute normal, or never, I don’t know.

I’ve observed that I’m getting to see more dreams in sleep than ever before. Today, just before waking up, in my dream, I saw that I was traveling with my sister. I couldn’t catch the train that we were to board together and boarded the immediate next train going to the same destination after 2 hours. During the entire journey, I kept worrying about my sister as she didn’t have an internet connection. Before we could meet, I was awake. That made me think if that dream indicated that I had to let go of a part of me that was once so dear to me, to fate.

I had an appointment with the doctor yesterday. I would always look forward to appointments with my doctor earlier, but these days, it makes no difference. The doctor’s words of consolation have no effect on my internal state of mind, although I appreciate their care and concern. 

My faith in Karma is at stake now after having faced a lot of tragic events one after the other within a month! I don’t know what’s God showing me.

Some things can’t be fixed through external intervention, perhaps, a divine intervention is all that is needed. I am still looking for some answers and will continue to do so!

Source: BlogChatter

 

All Rights Reserved!
Swati Sarangi
10.04.2025

  I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2025