#605 9th July 2026

                                                     9^th July 2026

I lost her completely

(Image Courtesy: Google)

It was the 12^th date from her demise. It’s the day when a feast is organized for the relatives and friends of the deceased person according to Hindu customs and rituals.

Yes, today I felt I lost her completely.

Until now, I used to feel that her soul was with us, watching us from a distance and praying for our well-being.

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I could feel the void when I visited my paternal aunt’s village today. She was the sister of my father, who died on 29^th June, exactly a few hours after I last met her in the ward of the cancer care hospital. She had been diagnosed with deadly blood cancer about fourteen years ago. But the last two years were critical for her as she went through rigorous chemotherapy for the treatment. Chemotherapy often comes with inevitable side effects. I have seen her going to the hospital regularly with a brave heart and strong willpower.

I went to her village (her in-laws’ place) after a gap of many years, where her last rituals were performed.

I went there with my family. Her husband (my uncle) welcomed us, but with a heavy heart and tears in his eyes. He was gloomy, and his eyes swelled up because of constantly crying for days. I could feel the agony of separation at this age. The marital bond used to be strong back then, unlike today’s generation.  

If she were there, she would have welcomed us happily and offered us our favourite food.

We were offered snacks by her in-laws’ side.

I started searching for her among everyone I met there, knowing that she is no more.

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There was a clash going on in my head. One part of my brain knew that I lost her to cancer, and another part was unable to accept this fact. But my heart was still searching for her warmth and assurance, which I used to get in my most difficult phase of life.

The phone call from her in the past years to know about my well-being despite her prolonged illness would heal me in a way I could never imagine.

I would miss the fact that I would never get a chance to recharge her mobile that I used to do for her every month. I still get the notification, but I feel really sad for not being able to do it this time.

We had our lunch arranged there by my uncle (her husband). There were a lot of dishes on the menu. It was a pure vegetarian menu without onion and garlic. It was tasty, but I was feeling heavy inside while taking each bite, knowing that it was the feast of her demise by ritual.  

In whatever functions I attended over the past few years, I would call her and discuss the menu. She would be happy to listen to me. But this time, she was not there for a call.

I missed her very much at that moment.

We all went to her room, where the rituals were performed in the presence of a priest. A photo of her was there with a garland of flowers over it.  A few incense sticks and earthen lamps were in front of it.

I could not hold my tears and sought her blessings.

After that, we bade adieu to her place and returned home.

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Life is strange sometimes.

We experience grief in different ways. According to Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, there are five stages of grief.

The five core stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These emotions are non-linear. These can occur individually or simultaneously. 

The most difficult emotion is acceptance. When you know that she is no more, but you feel her everywhere in the form of her memories.

I never knew that departing a soul who is so protective and caring for you would be so difficult.

I can feel what her husband (my uncle) might have been going through. He had been very dedicated and caring for her throughout her journey with cancer for the last fourteen years. It’s quite rare to find such a commitment in today’s era.

The more I write, the more I feel connected to her and gloomy at the same time.

I can only pray for her departed soul to be at peace forever.

May god always bless and protect your soul, Nani.

SWETA SARANGI

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

09-07-2026

 

#604 Fragility of life

                                                 Fragility of life

Enjoy every moment

                                           (Image Courtesy: Google) 

According to the Oxford Dictionary, fragile is an adjective that primarily means easily broken, damaged, or destroyed.

I think life is fragile. We don’t know what will happen in the next moment. It is as delicate as glass and should be handled with care.

We often live in an illusion, thinking that name, fame, status, family, property, and enormous wealth are the real success. But we forget that we have come alone in this earth and will go alone, leaving everything behind forever. Those whom we think have hurt us and loved us will be left behind when we leave this world. So, there is no reason to be proud of the achievements, as nothing is going to stay with us once we are out of this materialistic world. Similarly, there is no reason to feel guilty and demoralised for the failures, even as these will also not follow us out of the world.

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Recently, I have been reflecting on a lot of things in my life, like success and failures, which I don’t have control over.

I have been visiting my paternal aunt (my father’s sister) regularly at the cancer care centre, where she has been admitted for the last month.

Today was different. Something hit really hard. I went to her ward to meet her. She was looking pale today. Her face had shrunk to a great level, like the muscles of her face were squeezed. Her teeth moved out of her mouth. She did not hit 60, but she seemed to be in her 80s. She was breathing heavily as if she had run a sprint a few minutes back.

I asked her whether she was feeling okay. But, she could not answer my question as if she were counting a few hours of her existence on earth. I could not control my tears then. For a few minutes, I completely froze upon seeing her critical condition.

After a few minutes of crying, secretly sitting at the corner of her ward, I gathered the courage to face her. I started sharing my everyday stories with her, but in response, I did not get any reply from her. I did not know whether she was able to process anything in her mind.

She was one of the biggest supporters of my life who would cheer me up whenever I felt low. She would pray to god for my success even when she was hospitalized.

Seeing her count her last breath at the cancer care centre really made me feel disturbed and restless.

The last few years have been really difficult for us; for her, these were the worst. She was diagonised of blood cancer fourteen years back. Since then, she had been fighting this battle with a brave heart and strong willpower. She had been on medication till then, and living her life freely without much thinking of the disease.

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This deadly disease had never affected her mind the way anyone could have thought. All the credit goes to her indomitable spirit.

For the last two years, she had been going through chemotherapy. I could not count how many times she might have visited the hospital for taking the saline and costly injections.

Regularly, I would go to the hospital to meet her, but I had never seen her give up on her life. Despite these medications and therapies, she would always ask about my well-being and show a world full of positivity.

Being a devotee of Saibaba, she accompanied my parents and me to Shirdi in Jan 2024. We would never have imagined that a patient would travel around 30 hours by train to have a glimpse of Saibaba. Such was her devotion and faith in him that had made her navigate these difficult times in life.

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I don’t know how I would process this loss in the future.

She is in her last stage, and one thing that made me feel relieved is that the care given at the centre is unmatched. She is at one of the best cancer care centres in India. Maybe she would leave this world in an environment where all the care facilities are provided.

At this point, I feel numb, unable to think that I would not be able to recharge her mobile this time, as I used to do for her. I would miss her call at late night to console me.

Life has really shrunk to a few countable people for me, and losing her would be a difficult one, as I would lose one of my real supporters forever.

I would pray god to provide her a peaceful life wherever she goes. A life with fewer sufferings, as she had seen a lot in this birth.

Her story of life had taught me to never give up in any situation. She had also taught me to cling to hope when nothing seems to be in favour in life.

I will miss her as the person in this materialistic world, but her life stories will always inspire me to move forward despite ordeals and tribulations.

She is a true warrior.

SWETA SARANGI

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
28–06–2026

 

#603 Cheapness has no levels!

                                 Cheapness Has No Levels

Experienced something disgusting a few days back

Image Courtesy: Google 

People often believe that human behavior can be placed on a scale. We classify actions as good or bad, noble or selfish, ethical or unethical. We imagine that even among dishonest people, there are degrees of dishonesty; even among manipulative people, there are limits they will not cross. Experience, however, teaches a harsher lesson: cheapness has no levels.

Deception as a way of life

When a person chooses deception as a way of life, every boundary becomes negotiable. Truth becomes optional. Accountability becomes inconvenient. Morality becomes a costume worn only when it serves a purpose.

One of the most disturbing aspects of human behavior is not the act of wrongdoing itself, but the extraordinary effort some people invest in protecting themselves from the consequences of their actions. They construct elaborate narratives, create alternate identities, manipulate facts, and present carefully curated versions of themselves to the world. The objective is simple: maintain a respectable image while operating in a completely different manner behind closed doors.

Influence of the Digital World

The modern digital world has made this easier than ever. A person can hide behind anonymous accounts, fake profiles, and fabricated stories. They can provoke, harass, intimidate, and emotionally manipulate others while preserving complete deniability. If confronted, they retreat behind a wall of carefully prepared explanations. If exposed, they become the victim. If questioned, they claim misunderstanding. If evidence appears, they question the motives of the person presenting it.

What makes such behavior particularly fascinating is the contradiction it reveals. The same individual who privately engages in questionable conduct may publicly advertise integrity, professionalism, and ethical standards. Some even go so far as to issue public declarations about their values, creating an image of innocence before anyone has even accused them. It is a remarkable strategy: build the shield first, then claim persecution whenever someone points to the cracks.

Cheapness

This is where cheapness reveals its true nature. It is not measured by money, status, education, or professional achievements. A person may hold prestigious degrees, occupy respected positions, and receive public admiration, yet still display astonishing moral poverty. Academic excellence cannot compensate for ethical failure. Professional success cannot erase personal misconduct. Intelligence does not automatically produce character.

Perhaps the cheapest act of all is the victim card. It requires no courage, no self-reflection, and no accountability. It merely demands the ability to reverse the narrative. Suddenly, the person who caused harm becomes the injured party. The individual seeking answers becomes the aggressor. Facts become attacks. Accountability becomes harassment. Truth becomes an inconvenience.

History is full of examples of people who spent more energy protecting their image than improving their character. Their greatest fear was never being wrong; it was being seen as wrong. As a result, they built fortresses of excuses, denials, and carefully crafted public relations exercises.

Yet there is a fundamental flaw in every strategy built on deception. It assumes that perception is more important than reality. It assumes that if enough people believe a story, the truth ceases to exist. But reality has a stubborn quality. It does not disappear simply because someone writes a declaration, creates a policy, or publishes a statement. Facts remain facts.

 

Levels of Cheapness

Cheapness has no levels because once integrity is abandoned, there is no natural stopping point. The person who lies to avoid embarrassment may later lie to avoid consequences. The person who manipulates perceptions may later manipulate people. The person who hides behind false identities may eventually hide behind false narratives. The behavior evolves, but the principle remains the same: self-preservation at any cost.

In the end, character is not revealed by public statements. It is revealed by private actions. It is not measured by titles, achievements, or declarations of virtue. It is measured by what a person does when no audience is watching and no applause is available.

The truly unfortunate reality is that some people spend years building impressive careers while neglecting the far more difficult task of building integrity. And when integrity is absent, no amount of prestige can conceal the cheapness beneath the surface.

                             Cheapness has no levels. It only has opportunities.

Sometimes I feel grateful for difficult experiences because they reveal truths that might otherwise remain hidden. Encounters with people who choose anonymity over honesty often provide valuable lessons about character, boundaries, and self-respect. Looking back, I can only be thankful that certain realities became visible before they had the opportunity to shape my future.

What I find most surprising is that some individuals who maintain respectable public images are willing to behave very differently when protected by anonymity. Social media has made it possible for people to conceal their identities while engaging in conduct they would likely never display openly. The contrast between public reputation and private behavior can be striking.

Over time, I have developed little patience for those who rely on pseudonyms, fake profiles, or hidden identities to communicate in ways they would not dare to under their real names. Accountability begins with transparency. When a person chooses concealment over honesty, it often says more about their character than any public achievement ever could.

An interesting pattern emerges when such behavior is questioned. Rather than addressing the concerns directly, some people prefer silence, avoidance, or the support of others to shield themselves from accountability.

While every person is entitled to their privacy, accountability ultimately remains a personal responsibility.

If the purpose of such conduct was to demonstrate success, influence, or superiority, it achieves precisely the opposite. Achievements, titles, and professional accomplishments are meaningful only when accompanied by integrity.

Without integrity, even the most impressive résumé appears incomplete.
I sincerely hope that anyone who engages in such conduct reflects upon the impact of their actions and chooses a better path. Respect, honesty, and accountability remain far more valuable than any temporary comfort provided by anonymity.

As for me, I believe that facts eventually speak for themselves. When necessary, appropriate channels exist to address misconduct, and evidence has a way of becoming relevant at the right time. Until then, I remain focused on truth, self-respect, and moving forward.

May God save them if they attempt to harass anyone next time. 

I hope to expose the truth one day, as I have retained ample evidence. If required, I will pursue the matter through the appropriate cybercrime and legal channels.

For now, continue to hide behind anonymity if you wish. A masked identity may conceal a face, but it cannot conceal responsibility forever.

I sincerely hope no other woman has to endure the same kind of behaviour in the future.
 

SWETA SARANGI

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

11-06-2026

#602 Some Realisations!!

Some Realisations

Sharing my experiences of a spiritual journey!

I am a spiritual person. I have been practicing spiritual modalities for the last few years, especially during the first lockdown in 2020. This may be because I felt completely lost and hopeless then, despite having everything in my life.

I was in my top-notch phase.

After COVID-19 hit and everyone started getting quarantined, reality hit hard. I started getting anxious about the future and started questioning my existence and the purpose of life.

A question was quite prominent, which occupied my mind for a long time: WHO AM I?

To find an answer to this question, I would watch multiple videos by preachers and spiritual gurus from different religions. In the end, I would never get a satisfactory answer because they used to answer from their perspective, which never matched mine.

In 2021, a series of events happened that broke me completely and transformed me into a different individual.

I never imagined that I would lose everything at one go: my career, health, peace of mind, and most importantly, my grandmother, with whom I was so deeply attached.

I went into isolation, and this seemed to be a spiral loop of what-ifs, buts, and innumerable questions and scenarios that would haunt me badly at night and snatch away my sleeping hours.

The wound of betrayal and grief was so deep that it would leave me perplexed. I was numb emotionally. It was really strange for me to find that no amount of anything would make me happy then. I was the same girl who would be happy over small things in my childhood days. This continued for days, and later turned to months.

I had no option and left with no energy to cope with these negative thoughts. I managed to come out of the spiral loop after a few months.

When I think about those days, I feel grateful for people who stood beside me unconditionally.

Fast-forwarded to 2026,

I am in my healing journey and path of rediscovery. I joined a program called Inner Engineering on February 15 (during Mahashivratri) by Sadhguru of the Isha Foundation, Coimbatore, in an online mode. I always wanted to attend this program.

I came across the videos of Sadhguru during my M.Tech. days in 2017. I was always drawn to his ideologies, which target the youth of the nation by discussing ideas rationally.

Recently, I have been attending the modules of the courses through lecture videos from the official website. I am going to share my experiences from the program, though I have not completed all the 6 steps.

Realisation 1

In one module, Sadhguru asked the participants to do meditation by closing his/her eyes. Then he instructed them to chant, “I am not my body. I am not my mind” for a few minutes repeatedly.

I started feeling a sense of detachment. If I am neither my body nor my mind, why should I feel anxious or negative about anything? Nothing should bother me at all, not people, society, or situation. It is a better practice to feel calm during a tough time.

Realisation 2

In another module, Sadhguru has asked the participants to close their eyes and be grateful for a few things in their lives. He started giving instructions accordingly.

·      3 most important people in life: Father, Mother, and Sister

·  3 People important to you from your neighbourhood: My paternal uncle, My neighbour Granny, and her cute little 4-year-old grandchild

·      3 People whom you have never met yet but have a positive effect on you: Person1, Person2, Person3

·      3 Animals for whom you feel connected and affectionate: Cows, kittens, and Pigens, whom I feed every morning.

·      3 Plants/Trees you are grateful for: Rose plant(I like red colour roses, which symbolise love), Banana plant of my courtyard, Coconut tree

·      3 non-living things: My laptop (my saviour), my fridge (for storing food), and the kitchen gas where I cook

·      3 Celestial bodies you are grateful for: Sun, Moon, and Earth

After practicing gratitude, I became calmer and more composed.

One realisation hit me very hard that the relatives, my bosses, and colleagues have no place in my life. They don’t even exist in the list of 21 things, which comprises both living and non-living beings. Why should I even keep them in my thoughts at all??

My world has really shrunk to a few people, and I am really grateful that I have meaningful people in my life.

No crowd, no dramas.

Some realisations hit late but hard enough to leave imprints in your heart forever.

Thank you, Sadhguru, for such amazing realisations, and I look forward to sharing more such experiences until I complete the program!!

 

Sweta Sarangi

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
27–03–2026

 

#601 I am an asset to myself!

I Am An Asset To Myself!!

I don’t need anyone’s approval!

 

What is an asset??

According to the Oxford Dictionary, an asset is a person or thing that is useful to someone or something.

Please read it again. The definition itself associates an asset with a person or thing.

Is it true always?

What if you are not accepted by someone? Will you still be considered an asset?

Have you ever asked yourself these questions? If yes, you are not alone in this journey. If not, let’s explore what it exactly means.

Labels

As human beings, we often tag ourselves with certain labels. Those labels may be due to the remarks of your parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, boss, life partners, or anyone residing in your surroundings. Sometimes our past experiences, achievements, or current situations also create imaginary labels in our heads.

Those labels can be both positive and negative. How to check that?? Very easy. The remarks you get from your critics may not always be in your favour. Those can drain your energy, hence negative remarks. Some remarks can make you feel elevated and happy inside. Those are positive remarks.

What if you are not accepted by someone? Will you still be considered an asset?

My answer is YES.

No one is ever born on this earth without a purpose.

No one has the power to make you think that you don’t have any purpose in your life.

Most of the time, we as human beings seek validation in a relationship. The relationship does not always need to be romantic. It can be anything like parent-child, teacher-student, uncle-niece, and so on. When we are not seen, heard, or appreciated in that way, we feel devalued and not worthy of love.

When we try to attach our self-worth to another person’s perspective of us, we lose our originality. The authentic self is lost because it is dependent on someone else’s way of seeing you through their lens.

Apparently, we fall into the trap of appreciation and validation, which can sometimes be daunting as well. Of course, others’ perspective of framing opinion on you is neither in your control nor your responsibility to change.

What can we change then?

We can definitely change the way we think about ourselves, irrespective of others’ opinions. That’s what self-worth is. The more you are aware of your self-worth, the more you can remain calm and composed in any situation because you know that others’ opinions of you are not going to affect you or disturb your mental state in any way.

Working on yourself and your goal is the most difficult thing in the world because it comes with the acceptance that you acknowledge your flaws and you want to improve.

One thing I realise over the years: it requires a lot of patience and courage to change something within you that is stopping you from moving forward.

When you work on yourself with dedication, you start seeing the results. The results may not come overnight, but yes, it comes with some time.

Then confidence builds up within you, and you try to become aware of your self-worth. This awareness helps you set some boundaries between people in a healthy manner.

By following some healing modalities and manifestation rituals over the years, I feel calmness and stability within me. The courage to not accept the opinions of others about you is my takeaway from these daily practices.

Now, the reality has shifted for me, and I am starting to see the people the way they are.

No overthinking, no drama to change their perspective about me.

And this has given me the freedom to live my life on my own terms.

I’m embracing self-love.

I’m showing gratitude towards the adversities that happened in the past.

These compelled me to change something within me, and I could see the transformation.

I am in such a state of mind that I don’t really care whether I’m an asset or a liability in anyone’s life.

I’m an asset to myself. That’s enough for me to end my day.

 

SWETA SARANGI

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

26–05–2026