Wave of Light
This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2025
While October is a month of festivals, it is also
observed as the month of Pregnancy
and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Not many would be aware of it, but there exist many
women who are mothers without babies in their arms to show the world because
their babies left them too soon, either during pregnancy or stillborn, or
destiny snatched them for unknown reasons.
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| Image taken by the Author ; a candle of remembrance |
15th October is observed as Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Remembrance Day, which includes miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical
reasons,[1] and the death of a newborn[2][3].
On this day, everyone lights a candle at 7 PM in their
respective time zones in honor of their babies. It is observed in the USA, UK,
Canada, and Australia.
Statistics say that every 1 out of 4 individuals or
families live with these life-altering experiences of loss caused during
pregnancy, childbirth, or infant loss.
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| Image taken by the Author ; Mary Van Jesserkerk |
I am one of those loss-moms, and my baby left for
heaven too soon this year. Despite every report coming normal, I lost my baby,
halfway through my first pregnancy, to unexplained reasons.
I am grieving silently, in my own way. I didn’t light
a candle on 15th October, but I’ve lit one a month after my baby left for his
heavenly abode and lit many in church.
I miss my baby every single day and will continue to
do so. This has created an inexplicable void in my life.
One of the most heart-wrenching scenes that keeps
replaying in my mind over and over again is leaving my baby at the hospital and
preparing for his funeral on the day when the world was celebrating the
auspicious Holi! All this happened in a foreign land without the immediate
support of my family. Sometimes, I wished all these were just bad dreams!
I am grateful to the healthcare system that supported
me during this difficult time, and of course, there are higher powers that
always stand with me, irrespective of any circumstances.
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| Source : crosscards |
Pregnancy is a wonderful phase leading to motherhood.
The feeling of witnessing a life growing within yourself is nothing less than a
miracle. When this journey of 9 months ends abruptly somewhere before the
finish line, without any prior warning or explanation, it brings unfathomable
grief.
No matter how far someone is in her journey of
pregnancy, every loss has a devastating impact. I feel that a woman suffers
more than a man from this loss, as a lot of things have happened to her
physically and mentally. She is often judged and blamed for no mistake of hers.
If you ever encounter a grieving mother or parents, please don’t judge them. If you can, please lend your empathetic ears to them and give them a space to heal. They have been
holding a lot within themselves and trying to fix everything silently, even
though most of the things are out of their control.
Don’t ask them about
their next pregnancy plan or give them suggestions because they need space and
time to heal, and a lot of things are out of their control, too.
I came across The Fair
Work Amendment (Baby Priya’s) Bill, which was passed recently by the
Australian Government.
The Bill introduces a new
principle into the Fair Work Act that unless employers and employees have
expressly agreed otherwise, employer-funded paid parental leave must not be
cancelled because a child is stillborn or dies.
Baby Priya, who was with
us for just 42 days, has left behind a powerful legacy of support for grieving
parents. I truly hope that governments around the world will adopt similar
measures to offer such compassion and care.
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| Source : sleepingangel |
Who can write more about that grief than I, having hit
rock bottom a few months ago? Every day, I make efforts to heal, but it is not
easy to overcome one of the hardest feelings in the world: to outlive one's own
children. This loss is a loss of a lifetime and an irreplaceable one.
I am learning to sail through this grief, one day at a
time, while thanking my angel baby who gave me the joy of motherhood, even for
a brief time.
To my angel baby,
You were and you will always be a part of me.
© All Rights Reserved!
Swati Sarangi
15.10.2025
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