#594 Healing Without Talking

 Healing Without Talking

                                                        Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2025 

I don’t know how to heal without talking, 
Without communicating when your
Only channel of verbal communication
Is externally blocked by fear and insecurities.

 

When the four walls of the room
Can no longer contain your anxiety,
I seem to be doing fine, but
Something inside me is dying.

 

The only solace I get is from
My writing, these words that would be
Read by strangers I’ve never known,
Or I might never meet in my life.

 

My mind wanders in the silent
Dutch streets, which once gave me space;
A sense of freedom in a foreign land
Things to observe and fresh air to breathe.

 

Dreams at night take me to the places
Where I feel liberated and safe
And I no longer have to pretend to be alright,
I smile without being forced.

 

Sometimes, random people can read
Your emotions more than who you live with,
Or maybe the vibes that I emanate,
Match with their empathetic state.

 

I keep coming to writing over and over again,
It is as if speaking to an imaginary friend,
Sharing what my heart wants to say,
Without being judged or constrained.

 

I want to talk and express because I am not
An emotionless robot or a puppet 
A few countable words that I can speak,
Need to be heard with compassion and patience.

 

When a part of me still grieves,
Grieving from the loss of a gift,
The gift of a lifetime and memories 
That’s no longer mine.

 

Sometimes, I feel lost for losing my life
To uncertainties on which I have no control,
The sun rises and sets the usual way,
Turning the pages of the calendar.

 

All I can do, at the moment, is to 
Seek divine refuge that can listen
And address my worries to
Provide a solution that I might never find.

© All Rights Reserved!
 Swati Sarangi
03.09.2025

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