#53 Uncertainity

Uncertainty

Occupying a corner of a pink walled room, a little girl aged fourteen was busy in turning over the pages of an album to recollect the memories of her past. She made herself so indulged in viewing the photographs that the noise of the surrounding could not affect her. She got completely lost in that album. What did the album comprise of? Starting from the very first photograph, holding a golden cup and the action of applaud of the audience. Next to this was the photograph, very much close to her heart because she managed to grab first prize in badminton singles in interschool competitions after beating around 20 schools in the city. Indeed a great achievement for this young girl. Now onwards the photos of accomplishments and holding cups and shields of various sizes and shapes never ceased. She had made her school and parents proud by winning various prizes in badminton under eighteen in state and national level. As she kept on turning over the pages of the album, her face turned gloomy and pale. The charm that her face projected initially, started fading up. Droplets of tears rolled down from her small eyes to her lips. But, isn’t it strange for one to think that how can one become sad suddenly seeing the photographs of her winning prizes??

The environment at home was full of positivity and energy  because of the arrival of festive season. Lots of relatives had assembled to celebrate HOLI; a festival of colours. Mom and Dad were busy in attending relatives and spending time with them. Generally when all  cousins and relatives gather in any function in a family, there is an environment of joy and happiness. The smell of various delicacies would make one salivate. New dresses, unique decorations and above all get –together of many relatives who had not been in touch for so many years, would wipe out all the miseries and pains, if present. In fact, festivals are meant to rejuvenate oneself and create a space to make merry.  The noise of calling out each other’s names and teasing, singing songs, dancing, playing video games by switching on television set at high volume could be identified very distinctively. This happened only when the rooms are occupied by children of different age groups. Children do not prefer interference of elders in their activities. So, they had made themselves isolated from the elders and busy in their respective works. Girls of younger age prepared some decorative stuffs to cover up the walls of bedrooms and drawing rooms.

Unconsciously father entered the room of the house where his daughter was sitting silently and weeping, holding an album comprising of her old memories oblivious to the outside world. On seeing her in this state, he suddenly moved his hands over her head and asked impatiently, “What has happened dear? Why are you crying??”

She wiped out her tears instantly and handed the album to her dad. She was silent and felt reluctant to reply his question.

“Ohk, this is the matter. I can very well guess that my child. Just forget it and get mixed up with your cousins and they were just calling out your name from your study room.” Dad wanted her to forget the past and the past had nothing to do with the present as well as future. He wanted her daughter to enjoy the moment of festival.

     “But, after three days, there is going to be a badminton match for singles and …………”. She paused and stared her dad who was keenly watching her saying so.

     “You have practiced very well and what is a big deal in it?? I am confident that you will qualify to the next rounds as earlier.” Dad assured her and hoped that she would feel relieved. Generally she became tensed very often but this time the reason was different.

     But these words did not drive away her tension completely and still a wave of fear and insecurity drenched her.

    “Dad, I am going to play exactly after two years. I am nervous than before. You also know that why am feeling so. When I saw those photographs, I could not resist myself from crying because I can very well recollect the memories associated with the past which is never going to let me in peace. God, why only me??” She said impatiently and her face looked worried and turned pale. She felt pathetic and miserable.

    About two years ago, she went to Nanital and Massorie for spending her summer vacation. Nanital and Massorie can be regarded as the most attractive tourist place for summer with lots of lakes and amazing spots to visit.  Unaware of the adversity, she moved on. The journey with family members, friends and relatives rocked unlike any other. They had already booked rooms of guest house. She prepared a long list of the things to be purchased ( accessories, wall paintings, new dresses and many more). It was quite evident that one day would never be sufficient to purchase lots of these stuffs. First day went fantastic with lots of shopping stuffs for her. On the second day, family hired a Bolero to go on a trip to nearby spots. Unfortunately, the vehicle collided with a truck, as the driver unable to control the direction and disastrously they met with an accident. She was the one sitting extreme right, wheels of the truck crushed her right leg.

     The journey changed her life drastically; from a perfect girl, to a disable one. This was how, everything swayed. No one knew that something unprecedented like this would occur. Life always takes test and moulds an individual to a different one in the end. This is the meaning of real challenge. Life is totally unpredictable. One has to bear the consequences; whether good or bad.

    Even if, she got artificial limb implanted, still she became mentally disturbed for few months. She started losing interest in her life and preferred making herself isolated from her friends. The very thought of ‘being disable’ transformed her into a dull and lifeless girl unlike the one with full of energy and enthusiasm. She accepted the tragedy of life so easily, thinking that she had no control over it. But, if one door is closed by God, other gets opened up. Sometimes adverse conditions are created by God to prepare one for the better life and a glorious future which can only be sensed after the dark period is over. There is a need to be calm in such a situation to handle it. In the end, one can realize the positive impact imprinted on mind and soul. Now, getting started up with playing badminton again was the obstacle she had to overcome. The most daring task for her; a game against her body and will.

     One should always be grateful to the environment one lives in because there will always be someone who takes care of you all the time, they may be parents, friends, well wishers or admirers.  In worst condition of life, they are the one to embrace you and never let you down in any way.  

Dad would never like to see his daughter in a state of dilemma and trauma. He encouraged her to start playing badminton once again. By giving examples of various personalities in the world, he wanted to make her realize that it was not always she who faced such a situation. He motivated the best ever way he could. And finally he succeeded. She rose up once again to combat with her disability which was uncertain. She took up the sports heartily once again and with all her determination and hard work, she came up with flying colours. She practiced three hours daily to build up patience and endurance. Apart from the support of her father, the badminton coach also helped a lot in boosting up the confidence level. He acted as a motivator, true mentor and most importantly, a friend.

     To make the surrounding light, dad deviated her from the past and said, “For you, your mom has prepared Gulab Jamun, all your favorite stuffs have been cooked. Just go and taste those, quick.”

     She glanced at his father and nodded her head but was not in a perfect mood to taste all those delicacies, still trapped in the thoughts of her miseries, unable to come to the present. She glued to her album.

    Dad snatched the album from her hand and tried to console her,“ What ever happened, has got nothing to do with your present and future. I think, one should never clutch the past rather concentrate on  present and just relax. Your are an iron willed girl and my child never fails in any way. Wait and watch, something will happen in your favour this time, leave everything aside.” On hearing such words, she hugged him tightly.

Pin drop silence for few minutes…….

    Soft music of piano spread melody in air. Slowly this music, broke silence of the dense environment. It matched with the original one. The notes of Beethoven’s Fur Elise, elapsed all her tension and elevated her soul. She ran towards the guest room to see who was playing those notes so flawlessly.

    Yes, it was the old black piano, covered up, standing still in one corner of the guest room for about last two years. To make her happy, dad used to play those black and white keys. After the happening of the unfortunate incident, he had also lost all his interest. It stood still there without the player for a long period of time. And exactly after two years, he found Ryan(the eldest of all cousins) moving his hands over the keys brilliantly, creating the same hypnotic effect. So soothing……..Worth listening………She pulled out a chair and sat beside him noticing him playing so.

Music has got a magical effect to heal one’s pain and suffering instantly. Those few minutes of hearing proved to be a powerful alternative to forget that dark past.

3 days passed……The day of badminton match

          
    She reported at the spot where the match was scheduled to be commenced. This time a lot of friends, teachers and relatives gathered to cheer her up. She held the badminton racquet tightly, closed her eyes and murmured something, looked to the right side of the audience where her parents sat. A sound of ‘all the best’ and ‘rock the game’ echoed. Dad waved his hand from the crowd to wish her good luck which she noticed, standing at a distance.

    The game began, initially the speed of cork was slow, later it attained a great speed. She smashed the cork hard all the time and the opponent found it hard to lift it up. Sometimes cork hit the net and sometimes out of the line for the opponent. It was clear that the match was out of control for the opponent. She won the two sets quite easily. Crowd shouted loudly and her name floated in air for some time. Dad ran from the crowd to embrace her and he patted her back. She did what she ought to and got qualified for the next round. All the relatives, friends, teachers congratulated her. She won the first game against her disability. Mom became emotional and tears of happiness rolled from her eyes. This was the real Holi for her: a festival to spread colours to life.

SWETA SARANGI

28.2.2014