#557 GRIEF doesn't change you

 Grief doesn’t change you

Source: BlogChatter

 

"Grief doesn’t change you but it reveals you" — John Green

Grief hits the most when the unfortunate event has already happened and you realize that what you thought to be yours, is no longer there.

During an unfortunate event, we are in utter shock to process anything. The happening of the event leaves an indelible print on our minds.

I always looked forward to Fridays, especially Friday evenings which would mark the beginning of the Weekend until 07.03.2025 when I got a fever that stayed with me for the next few days and changed my life forever.

What worse can a mere fever cause, one may ask?

Well, anything can happen from a simple thing nobody ever imagined. I am not writing it to create a sense of fear in the minds of the readers, but writing to ease my grief a bit as writing has a therapeutic effect on me.

Life is strange, things happen beyond our comprehension and we start looking for answers. I am in that stage of my life and looking for many answers from God.

People say life has strange ways to make people humble but what about humble people, why does life play games to punish them for the mistakes they never made?

Even though grief gets better with time but realization that what you thought was yours, is no longer yours, hits the hardest.

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” — Vicki Harrison

Healing from grief is a slow process and demands a lot of patience. When you think you’ve healed from the grief, the grief surfaces once again, making everything look so fresh.

Nearly thirteen days have passed since that unfortunate event, no matter how much I try to heal but I’ve lost a part of me in the process. I was reborn and I am no longer the same.

I may look strong from the outside but I break down in the middle of any task that I do, in a day. It just doesn’t happen once but many times. A part of my mind and heart is still stuck at the hospital when I got relieved on 11.03.2025.

I often ask God why he had to be cruel to me but I get no answer.

Grief has revealed a part of me that I never knew existed. It has evoked a more empathetic self for my husband and I observed a similar change in him towards me. Couldn’t life teach this lesson in a better way?

When my grief-stricken self can’t see the big picture at this moment, all I can do is hold the happy memories associated with the event close to my heart and feel grateful for them. It was a part of me and will be an integral part of me forever.

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” — Helen Keller

Right now, even though I am many miles away from complete healing; both at physical and emotional levels, I am trying to do all that I promised myself to do; taking baby steps, one day at a time, so that when I look back, I will be proud of myself for embracing the beauty of those scars.

"The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”
 — Pierre Auguste Renoir

Source: BlogChatter

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Swati Sarangi

21.03.2025

I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2025 

#556 BLOGCHATTERA2Z - Third time in a row!

 BlogChatterA2Z – Third time in a row!

Source: BlogChatter

This is the third time in a row that I’m participating in BlogChatterA2Z and it is evident from the April tab of my blog, for the last 2 years, which has the maximum number of posts. Having successfully completed this writing challenge in the last two years amidst a lot of obstacles in my real life made me confident to register for it this year, and I’ve set out on a path to explore my writing ability.

 

The last few years of my life have been too dynamic, which has helped me migrate to different countries, made me move from one apartment to another, adapt to different cultures, living styles, and climatic conditions, and find a home abroad. As easy as it sounds, it was never easy but the fact that I don’t complain about the circumstances made everything appear so easy.

 

In the year 2023, when I joined this Challenge, it was when I just joined a new job in Finland which was consuming most of my life, as I would spend 3 hours/day commuting to my office. My life would start around 5 am, completing daily chores before leaving for work, and end at 11 am before I would prepare myself for the hurdle of the next day. My weekends would be busy, with getting the stock of groceries for the next week. I pushed myself so hard to schedule some posts during weekends or the time before I cooked dinner after work. With the extended deadline, I was able to complete this challenge, and I am proud of myself for having completed it.

 

In the year 2024, I joined this challenge from another apartment in Finland, with sickness from Flu at the end of this challenge, making it too hard for me to push myself. When you’re abroad, sick, and alone, especially during winter when there’s no Sun in the sky for months in a row and you can’t go out in such a harsh climatic condition, it becomes too challenging to navigate but I don’t give up so easily. I worked hard on my commitments and delivered the outputs within the deadline. I am proud of myself for not giving up when it was getting so hard.

It is 2025 and I’m writing this post from a historic city in the Netherlands where I’ve been living for the last 9 months. Something different from other years that I’m doing this time is that I’ve scheduled some posts in advance, before the start of this challenge which I couldn’t do previously. As I’m healing from a recent loss; both physically and emotionally, I hope that writing in this challenge will make this healing process a bit easier. You may find my raw emotions being exposed in some of the posts but remember that it’s a process of healing that I’m into and this process is neither linear nor straightforward.

 

Just like other years, I have a strong belief that I will be able to finish this challenge before the deadline. Oh! Wait, I’ve not even decided on the prompts to write on. I will wait for the days of April to provide me with prompts as the month unfolds.

Source: BlogChatter

 

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Swati Sarangi

31.03.2025

I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2025 

 

#555 Oh! My little LEMON

Oh! My Little Lemon

Source: BlogChatter

Oh! My little Lemon
My bundle of joy,
You brought a lot of happiness,
And moments to rejoice.

Little fingers, little toes,
Skin so delicate; a gift from God
You were a little wonder,
Spreading love and light forever.

You looked exactly like what
I had envisioned, so cute,
All your facial features
Resembled your loving father.

You were so innocent,
To ever trouble me,
You made me feel what love is,
And what silent mischiefs.

My heart will always be grateful,
For your divine presence in my life,
Like an angel, how easily you
Brought smiles to faces you never met.

I wonder how a tiny human,
Like you can bring changes,
That might take years to reflect,
That’s what you did so effortlessly.

My life hasn’t been the same,
After you left, as the sun sets,
All I am left with is an inexplicable
Grief that gets difficult to bear.

I am in a process of healing;
Healing physically and emotionally,
By taking baby steps,
One day at a time.

I will bless you every day,
For every single day that I live,
By holding you close to my heart,
You shall always be my Little Lemon,
The most precious gift from God.

Source: BlogChatter

All Rights Reserved!

Swati Sarangi

19.03.2025

I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2025 

#554 ANSWERS that my heart searches for

 ANSWERS that my heart searches for

Source: BlogChatter

Answers that my heart searches for,

To the questions that have stemmed up,

From circumstances so adverse,

Still keeping me in the mode of denial.

 

I don’t believe what happened,

But I have no choice but to accept,

I couldn’t find out why it happened,

The way it should never have.

 

Everything looked so perfect because,

I made sure it was with the preparations,

I couldn’t have been happier,

As I was about to embrace something grand.

 

Life’s unpredictable, no doubt,

It snatches away everything from you,

When you seem to be so close,

To what you’ve aimed to manifest.

 

My heart searches for answers, sometimes

Praying before God or making a frantic search,

On various websites or posting those

Questions in the veil of anonymity.

 

Some days are easy, while

Other days are simply so hard,

This process of healing that I’m into

It isn’t just straightforward.

 

As the day passes, the grief eases

The answers that could’ve given closures,

Can’t be seen anywhere anymore,

But the questions haven’t faded into oblivion.

Source: BlogChatter

 

All Rights Reserved!

Swati Sarangi

31.03.2025

I'm participating in #BlogchatterA2Z 2025 

 

#553 12 years of blogging and sharing my stories

 12 years of blogging and sharing my stories

Source : Generated by the author using GROK 

The month of March holds a lot of significance in my life. As the title suggests, this is the day I started publishing my articles/poems 12 years ago, and I am still doing the same. I also celebrated my marriage anniversary at the beginning of this month. Something unfortunate happened a week after our anniversary, and it will be etched in my heart forever.

 

I always looked forward to this day every year and would schedule a post in advance, but all these things didn’t seem to excite me this year. I’m grieving from personal loss and recovering from it; both physically and emotionally. Life has a different way of surprising us, and not all surprises are always pleasant, and we can do nothing about it making you wonder how life can be so cruel when you’ve always tried to do what’s right.

 

12 years is a long time; that’s more than twice my years of marriage. A lot happened in those 12 years; mostly good events but also some unexpectedly unfortunate events too and in all these years, I realized how unpredictable results in life could be! There’s a higher power that controls the outcome; reminding us to be more grateful when things go all right because those things could’ve gone wrong too.

 

This blog always gave me a reason to celebrate each day. It became my online diary; something that’s there to treasure my written words without any judgment. I don’t care about readership now. This blog has always been so special to me as it never made me worry about the presence of a special someone to make me feel special. Writing my heart out without the feeling of being judged is the best feeling that I can ever experience.

 

As I write this post, I am writing with a sense of stoicism, I am neither trying to reflect too much on years of my literary journey, life, or anything particular nor forcing myself too much to feel those emotions that I used to have every year when I wrote bloganniversary post. This time, it’s different and it need not have to be the same every year. I must accept it.

 

I don’t know what inspiration I can offer to my readers through this post, at this moment, but I can guarantee you to get inspired by our previous posts which we wrote with a lot of energy, enthusiasm, and optimism. Even I will try to get back to those posts to motivate myself to get back to my old form and make this process of healing a little bit easier.

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© Swati Sarangi
30.03.2025

You can support my work through Buy me a Coffee.

P.S.: This was the first post that I published on this day, exactly 12 years ago.

#552 End of a chapter

End of a chapter

End is as beautiful as beginning. We live in a world where there is a mixture of good and bad events and sometimes we don’t have control over these. Sometimes, we are overwhelmed by the fact that end is approaching. End is often seen as the dead end. But, that’s not always so. Sometimes, end can lead to a beautiful beginning.

 

I often see end of a chapter as a dead end. But, later in life I realized, end of a toxic relationship or end of a phase or end of a journey or end of a career is sometimes very beautiful. Because, end can only show a direction to a new beginning. It actually requires a lot of courage on one part to end something in life. We go in a flow and we rarely visualize that there is a need to end some of the toxicity in life to which we are entangled to. In order to move forward, we need to end some of the chapters or put full stop to an event which is meant to be finished.

 

Being a girl, living in an Indian society requires a lot of courage to deal the hustle and bustle of life. It’s always a girl, who has to answer a lot of questions before leaving home or even going to her workplace. Girls often try to handle the situation whatever it is, in order to avoid the consequences. While handling the situations, girls often get bound to toxic bosses, in-laws, hubby, relatives etc. They think that relationships with their bosses, relatives or partners would improve in future. But when things don’t change, then there is an immense pressure on them to carry forward these type of toxic relationships. The pressure is also from the society as well, to stay in these relationships for a longer time. Then what would a girl do? She ends up being blamed for being not a good worker, mother, wife or daughter-in-law. Is this blame even justified? Then, she has to end her relationship with the person to keep herself at peace.

 

Is end that scary? Hell, yeah!! It may seem scary, if we don’t visualize the entire scenario at once or when we don’t have a proper plan. But, what if we think in this way that, there is something better waiting for us. I always like to quote that “There is always a light at the end of a tunnel.” Here, a positive mind comes for a rescue.  A positive mind helps one to see the silver lining though the cloud of uncertainty. There is so much power in believing that everything will work out even when you don’t know when and how: you just believe that it will.  

 

I would like to end this article with a positive note that,

End is not always that scary and it should not be misinterpreted as dead-end. Rather, it should be treated as a gateway to a fresh beginning.

 

SWETA SARANGI

15-12-2024

#551 Seven sentences I wish I'd read sooner

                             Seven sentences I wish I'd read sooner 

While browsing one of the posts of Ankur Warikoo, I came across these beautiful lines which have deep meanings. These lines let me write down in my journal and I am going to share these in my blog. Here we go.

1. These hard times, this pain, those lessons-one day, they will be your strength, your awareness and your blessings.

2. Stop expecting honesty from people who lie to themselves.

3. You will never look good trying to make someone look bad. 

4. Save your explanations for those that are determined to understand you-give your silence to those that are determined to misunderstand you. 

5. Your life is too short to be unhappy 5 days a week in exchange for 2 days of freedom.

6. Don't be upset from people you don't respect.

7. Life is not tiring. Wanting life to be in certain way but not having the confidence to make it that way, is tiring. 

16-11-2024

SWETA SARANGI 

#550 My Interview published on TechnoVans

 My Interview Published on TechnoVans

 

My interview got published on TechnoVans. Please click here to read more.

#549 A bell that once rang

  A bell that once rang

The image has been generated by the author with the help of an AI tool; GROK.

During my school days, the bell would ring a lot of times, indicating the change in the present state and signaling the beginning of the next phase. For example, A bell would be struck in the morning around 7:30 am as an announcement for morning assembly, and then after the end of each period, we would hear it twice. The school would end with the bell being struck three times.

The ringing of a bell in the afternoon in our locality would wake us up and make us rush outside to find a cart full of ice cream or other delicious street food like chaat, golgappa, noodles, dosa, etc.

I would hear the ringing of the bell while accompanying my mother to a nearby temple in the evening. The bell would be suspended from the ceiling of the temple, still much higher than my height to which I jumped and struck it. It’s a practice in Hindu temples as a mark of reverence for the Deities we worship.

In each of the above scenarios, I admired the sound that the physical bell produced! It was as if it brought some good news!

Fast forward to 2020 and years after that

The image has been generated by the author with the help of an AI tool; GROK.

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Even though social media existed long before, their popularity picked up momentum during the pandemic for quite understandable reasons. Then real connections and interactions got converted into virtual ones.

The sound of the bell that excited me as a child, got converted to some brief ringtones or vibrations from my mobile. I found myself more involved in social media than before. I’m sure that most of you might have felt this difference.

Seeing numbers around the bell icon which denote notifications elated anyone using that.

An empty jar doesn’t make anyone happy.

Social media has introduced the bell icon into the user interface, trying to create a similar excitement in users’ minds by prompting them to visit that page and click on the bell icon, which reveals the notifications.

This temptation of clicking on the bell icon or the instant gratification of seeing the account in its best form of engagement has resulted in a lack of focus on the task.

Take my example.

I have been writing since childhood but publishing my writeups on my blog since 2013. This has given me access to all my old writings. The quality of content and time taken to produce it can never be compared to what I am writing these days. There’s no competition. My 13-year-old writeups win!

I can very easily feel the difference between both phases of my writing and it makes me wonder about my ability to produce something profound at the age of my early adulthood.

Art of any form needs solace and focus to thrive. The more we’re away from distractions, the more will we be focused on our goals. Similarly, for writing, it is not easy to process 60000 thoughts that cross our mind a day and derive meaningful connections or hierarchy to present to the readers.

So, I would keep just two tabs open on my web browser; one for the work and other one for googling work-related stuff, to get rid of the temptation to jump to check notifications on my social media.

I would mindfully choose to complete the task I’m doing over instant gratification provided by the notifications on social media and use social media as a reward for completing the task.

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©Swati Sarangi
22.10.2024

You can support my work through Buy me a Coffee.

#548 October Wishes

 October Wishes

Image Source : Blogchatter

This post is a part of Blogchatter Blog Hop.

October is the antepenultimate month of the year. Every year, it comes with a handful of festivals to celebrate in an Indian household. Similarly, this year too festive season has begun with the commencement of October. To worship the divine power of Goddess Durga, Navratri will be celebrated from 03^rd October to 12^th October. There are several changes in the atmosphere too apart from the festive vibes. With leaves turning red and yellow from green before falling from the trees, this month announces the arrival of autumn before the harsh winter.

I was too disturbed by the horrific incident that took place at R.G. Kar Medical College in August 2024. Even after that unfortunate incident, the cases of violence against women are still on rise. No strict action has been taken against the culprits. I wish for the safety and security of women in India. I wish justice would be served to the victim by ensuring the enforcement of law and order in the right way. It is shameful to state that women are unsafe and discriminated in a country where Goddess Durga is worshipped. What kind of hypocrisy is it?

I am also disturbed by the war situations and geo-political instability taking place in the affected parts of the world. War has never been beneficial for any party. It has always caused a huge loss of resources and lives. It’s moving to come across the news of those affected by war. I wish there is world peace and harmony.   

On the personal front, I wish to complete all pending tasks before the end of this year. I wish to be a better version of myself by consistently working towards my goals. Completing tasks from the to-do list requires proper planning, determination, and timely implementation of strategies. I’m trying to follow a routine that will not only improve my productivity but also keep me motivated in the long run. I’ve started implementing some strategies to remove distractions and keep me more focused. For example – working with at the most 3-4 tabs in one window of my laptop, closing the tabs as soon as the task gets done etc.

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment. The difference is the discipline weighs ounce while the regrets weigh tons – Jim Rohn. I don’t want to end this year with regrets of not doing what could’ve been done so easily. So, in these last 3 months, I am wrapping up unfinished tasks by not taking more tasks on the plate. Hopefully, I will be able to accomplish everything that I wish for! Finger crossed!

Image generated by GROK2.0

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Swati Sarangi

06.10.2024

You can support my work through Buy Me A Coffee.

#547 Celebrating festivals abroad

 Celebrating festivals abroad

Image source : Blogchatter

This post is a part of Blogchatter Blog Hop.

This post is a part of ‘Feeling Festive Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters

Festivals provide a way to escape from the mundanity of life and celebrate it. In every Indian household, they hold immense importance and bring countless moments to be treasured as memories. Festivals bring a variety of mouth-watering food, magnetically divine vibes, some rituals to perform, and get-together with family and friends.

Every year, there comes a handful of festivals that all of us look forward to. As a child, I used to surf through festivals on the calendar, not because I hated going to school but because I enjoyed everything about it; be it helping my mother with preparation, serving guests when they arrived home, cleaning or decorating home. All of us, my sister, father and I worked together like a team during the festive season to execute every plan that we had made.

Out of all the festivals, my favorite one is Dusshera. I don’t know why I remember almost all memories of it, right from my school days. Is it because we were given 2 weeks of Autumn holidays then or the extravaganza associated with it? I can’t figure out the right reason. Every year, it falls during October and the feeling of nostalgia engulfs me. The image of stage, competitions, aromas of delicacies, and other performances. Having spent my school days in Kanpur, I witnessed how grand Sarvojanin Kali Puja Samiti used to organize Kali Puja for a week. There used to be competitions for different age groups. We participated in it and won some prizes. The entire celebration would end with fireworks, a prize distribution ceremony, and a concert. I have been missing this festival ever since I was away from Kanpur.

 

Image Source : Generated by GROK2

 

It has been 3.5 years since I have lived abroad. I try to recreate events from my festival memories because it is always not practically possible for me to visit India during festivals. The first that I do as a part of preparing for festival is to rush to an Indian Store to get the groceries or related items for the festival. We celebrate at home with decorations, and delicious dishes or additionally look for communities where it is celebrated. No matter how much I try to recreate those feelings of excitement of celebrating festivals at home back in India, something remains missing.

Such is the power of home; festivals that we celebrate with family and friends! The nostalgia associated with festivals hits me every year and makes me miss home a little more.

© All Rights Reserved!

Swati Sarangi

04.10.2024

#BlogchatterBlogHop

Edit : This post received TOP POST on Blogchatter

You can support my work through Buy Me A Coffee.

#546 What do you talk with yourself?

 What do you talk with yourself?

Image Source : Generated by GROK2.0

This post is a part of ‘Mindful Pursuit Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters.

I was informed by my blogger friend Manali to participate in this bloghop and I thank her for that. Since September 10^th is regarded as the World Suicide Prevention Day, I’m going to write about the mental tussles or battles that we all fight every day. For some, it becomes very intense pushing them to take the extreme step while for others it’s like some mental noise that they’ve learned to deal with. Like our bodies, our minds require decluttering of unnecessary things. In other words, our minds require cleansing, and it should be very normal to do that. Asking for help from friends or a therapist should be normalized.

Let’s first look closely at causes or sources of generation of the mental battles.

1) In the era of social media where a lot of information is accessible so easily, one gets easily trapped in the invisible chains of comparisons. These comparisons are often irrational or unreasonable. They can lead to the fear of missing out, thereby making someone do something just to garner some engagements on social media.

2) We all must have heard about this saying, “An empty mind is devil’s workshop.” On an average a person gets 6.5 thoughts per minute and these thoughts keep multiplying rapidly just like a forest fire. When not controlled, it can lead to negative interpretations causing depressions or self-doubt.

3) Unproductive use of social media leads to overindulgence and waste of judicious time, thereby causing lack of focus or disruption of sleep cycle. It can also generate a sense of guilt and incompetence.

4) Sometimes, it gets challenging to deal with personal losses due to failure on personal or professional fronts, loss of any near or dear ones unexpectedly or a heartbreak due to unexpected turn in any relationship.

5) Burnout from a busy work schedule which doesn’t have any slot of reflection or pursuing something that makes you happy or relaxed can cause a lot of mental troubles.  

In all above situations, the question is what do you talk with yourself? Do you believe in every thought that your mind produces or choose to accept only those that seem to be positive ones? You should check your thoughts, if they’re encouraging or critical ones. During such situations, you should lend an ear to your own thoughts and emotions with empathy and patience. For an introvert like me, it becomes even more difficult to share feelings with others.

What have worked for me in my favour during such situations are –

Ø Being mindful of the present and taking one day at a time.

Ø Counting blessings regularly

Ø Meditating and believing in higher powers working favorably

Ø Appreciating the journey you’re into

Ø Spending some time in nature away from social media

Ø Pursuing hobbies that bring out the inner child in you

Ø Believing the impermanence of the situation

Ø Journaling every night

Ø Making physical exercises fun

Ø Connecting with like-minded people

 

Everyone’s journey is different unlike the question paper we get in exams. When the journey is different, the speed with which we’re navigating through this journey or the people we come across in this journey is bound to be different. Before believing anything, we see or hear, we should at least ask our mind about the verity of it. Life’s not a race we’re into, so instead of rushing into any stage of life, just immerse yourself in the process of it and make memories for life. Let’s embrace our unique journey of self-discovery and existence!

Mental health has always been a taboo or less discussed topic. It can happen to anyone at any point of time just like any other disease affecting our body. Dealing with mental turmoil is an indication that our mind needs some rest or a little more care just like our body. There’s nothing unusual or unconventional about it. So, let’s just break any stigma around mental health and normalize seeking help during such situations.

Image Source : Generated by GROK 2.0

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Swati Sarangi

15.09.2024

#MindfulPursuitBlogHop  

Edit : This post received TOP POST on Blogchatter

You can support my work through Buy Me A Coffee.