A CLOSURE that my writing provided me
 |
| Source: BlogChatter |
When something unexpectedly unfortunate happens in
your life, you look for answers and reasons behind it. Then there follows intense
soul searching too and a process of facing and handling your emotions.
Such an incident has made me look for answers or think
about what I could’ve done differently to avoid it, even though I realized that
I had no control over it. It comforts me to think about events happening in the
parallel universe in the same timeline that I wished to happen in my life.
Writing has immense power. I knew it already as I’ve
been writing for ages but the realization that it can heal me came to me quite
recently. Sitting with my laptop in my empty apartment abroad, I can pour my
feelings out by making my fingers type consistently until they no longer want
to.
These days when I neither want to go out nor talk to
anyone, I let my heart do the talking and this talking gets manifested into my
writing. I write as much as I can and whichever way is possible, sometimes as written
notes or letters or memos on my mobile.
On some of these days when my mind and body seem a bit
tired and my heart is soaked in inexplicable sadness, I seek refuge in writing,
sometimes writing with my identity, other times in the veil of anonymity. I
neither want my feelings to be validated nor a lot of sympathetic ears to
listen to my adversity, I just want to write. That’s all.
I realized how much closure can writing bring to me. Yesterday, I wrote to the Universe or God asking for answers to questions about incidents that happened beyond my comprehension. With tears rolling down my cheek, wetting the piece of paper, when I reached the end of the page, I felt healed, even momentarily. It was like a loving caress or embrace from my parent.
It’s not so easy to cope with the loss. No formula or shortcut can instantly heal. Every day comes with a different challenge,
and I get to face my emotions in a different way. Some days seem to be
relatively easy while other days take me to square one, when I’ve to start
everything all over again. I just can’t replace my old self, the optimistic
one, over my present self. It will take time to get back and I must be patient
with the process.
I am learning to face my emotions as it is without labeling
them, or perhaps I’m too tired to evaluate anything mentally. Right now, I am
grateful for all the good memories that filled up my memory bank and thankful
to God for all those moments that could’ve gone wrong otherwise.
 |
| Source: BlogChatter |
All Rights Reserved
Swati Sarangi
04.04.2025
No comments:
Post a Comment